Long time no see. It's been a long time since I've used this blog. 3 1/2 years. Guess we'll use it again. Time is short, especially with 5 kids, work, wife's work and grad school. We stay busy. But, I'll try to keep up with this. I might add several contributors so that it stays active.
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From time to time, I catch wind of what others have to say. I respect that everyone has the right to say what they want, and expect that people respect what I say. This does not mean that people have to agree with me, and I don't have to agree with them. That being said, I'll proceed.
Pagans and Heathens are always complaining that the Christian Right push their morality on others. Christians don't agree with birth control, abortion, homosexualtiy, and a long list of other things. Yes, I'm generalizing, but overall, it does tend to stand against many things they deem "immoral". What makes Pagans and Heathens better? Honestly? Not much. I find Heathens and Pagans that claim to be moral, but do everything they claim to be immoral. What makes it immoral for someone to date someone for a short time and then have sex, then end up dating for over a year? Why is it better to date someone for a year before having sex then having a child out of wedlock? Why is it better for a heterosexual individual to fuck around when it is wrong for a homosexual couple to be together strong for 5 years? I have my views on many social issues. yes, I have my opinions and views, but I also don't push my views on others. Does this make me better than anyone else? No. It just makes me able to think for myself without having to push people to accept it. People should look at their own lives before looking to others. Correct what YOU are doing wrong before pointing out the faults of others. I don't what I'm doing wrong as it is pointed out by others. But, I also don't care what you are doing wrong because I have better things to concern myself with, like fixing my problems. Grow up, wise up, and set yourself straight. Otherwise, you will end up losing friends and people around you. I'm 37, married 2nd time, have 3 kids and 2 step-kids, in school again, and have a happy life with my wonderful wife. Not much anyone could say outside of family that will get to me. But, I also don't want to hear your drama and the drama of everyone else. _Sad people dislike the happy, and the happy the sad; the quick thinking the sedate, and the careless the busy and industrious. -Horace
Some temptations come to the industrious, but all temptations attack the idle. - Charles H. Spurgeon, 19th Century preacher I think we have more machinery of government than is necessary, too many parasites living on the labour of the industriousness. - Thomas Jefferson It is not enough to be industrious; so are the ants. What are you industrious about? -Henry David Thoreau It is important to be industrious. Being busy with something is important. When you aren't doing anything, you become idle. Become idle too long and you get lazy. There are many projects that can be done. Even for those that are not employed, there are things that can be done. Gardening, building, crafting, hiking, exercising, cleaning, studying...many things that can be done. The television has become a problem with our society. The internet has, too. Both are good tools for learning, but too many times it results in mindless entertainment and inactivity. As Heathens, we should be very active in life and community. We should be constantly building, crafting, learning, or teaching. I use the internet more than many people. I'm in school for networking. I have to be on the computer a lot for school. But, I also use the internet for something other than games and mindless chatrooms. I'm always networking to find other Heathens and to find ways to lead them to the rest. I'm busy working on things such as websites and events to bring Heathens together for community and fellowship. I offer myself to help others where I can, and guide them in the direction to find what they need. My wife and I have 5 kids (combined). We have little time for other projects, but we make time. I've known too many "heathens" that sit on their asses all day talking about what they are going to do instead of doing what they are talking about. Stop talking and start doing. _ I hear people using "Christmas", "Yule", "Happy Holidays", and other terms to refer to this holiday season. I'm Heathen, so, obviously, I prefer Yule. Most of my family (parents, brother, cousins, aunts, uncles, ect) are all Christian, so they celebrate Christmas. I know Atheists that still celebrate Christmas, and it's their favorite time of the year. Yes, as an atheist, they still celebrate "Christmas". Sounds odd? Not really. It's just a name for a period of time that is celebrated by many people in many cultures that are similar, but different.
As a Heathen, I know the difference between some of the holidays, but not most.. I'm comfortable not knowing them all because I don't celebrate them all. I don't know anyone that practices any one of many of them. Most of the people I know are Christian or Heathen. This means that everyone I know celebrates either Christmas or Yule. I could go into the practices of Yule, and similarities between Yule and Christmas, and the differences, but that's for another time, maybe. Everyone has their practices and traditions. I'm not here to convince anyone to do this or that. I'm jus Because most of my family is Christian, and they celebrate Christmas, I celebrate Christmas, too. As a Heathen, I know that sounds strange to most other Heathens that I know. I don't acknowledge the birth of their messiah. I don't acknowledge the Jewish connection that Christianity has. I don't worship or praise their god. But, since this time of year has many holidays that are right around the same time, it doesn't bother me to say "Merry Christmas" to those in my family. Christmas is a tradition for my family for at least several hundred years. This is my family, descendents of the same ancestors as me. As a Heathen, family is very important. If most of my family celebrates Christmas but not Yule, I participate in their Christmas celebrations. I don't attend their church, but I do gather with the family and participate in activities with them, gift giving and feasting and fellowship. When I gather with my family, I am usually drawn into discussions with my cousins and aunts, which end up in religion and politics. I have been able to introduce truths and history into the discussions, and they have acknowledged some of the borrowed traditions by the Christians into Christmas from the Heathens and Yule. I can't make them change their practices, but they have at least seen some of the truths. They have their traditions, and that's fine. Traditions are created and ended all the time, and that's the way it always has been. I know many Heathens and Pagans that are really "up in your face" about their faith. Some of these are zealots without realizing it. Some of them are just as forward as Christians are about their beliefs. I have my beliefs and I'm happy with them. I have nothing to prove to anyone, so I don't get confrontational about it. The easiest way to introduce Yule and the real practices of this time of year is to approach it without coming across as trying to end or destroy Christmas. It creates friction, and "introducing" history and concepts means that they are more likely to accept without reaction. So, for me, what is best to say this season? "Happy Holidays" covers all your bases. "Happy Yule" goes out to all the Heathens and Pagans. And, I will continue to wish my family that is still Christian a "Merry Christmas". I really don't have to worry too much outside of those because I don't know anyone that practices the others. Self-reliance is a virtue that everyone, Heathen or not, should work toward. It does take a lot of discipline these days to be self-reliant. Years ago, people had to fight and struggle to survive. These days, everything is handed out. Self-reliance is defined as : "reliance on one's own efforts and abilities." When the government has to dish out food stamps, unemployment, social security, healthcare, and a ton of other "benefits", people are not being self-reliant, but dependent. They are relying on someone elses efforts and abilities. But, as I say this, I'm guilty of not being self-reliant.
My parents have done a lot to help me out over the years. I have worked my ass off since I was 16 years old, paid lots in taxes, and paid my dues. Just over a year ago, I got laid off from a job I had for 8 1/2 years. I realized that I could get school paid for at a local community college in networking technology. I'm going for a diploma rather than a degree, which will take less time and get me working faster. It will also cost less than going to school for a longer time. Am I being self-reliant? No. Am I doing what I need to do to get back to work in a field that I should be able to get myself back to where I need to be? Yes. Am I going to be leeching on the system beyond my planned length of time? No. Do other people ride on the back of the system with no intentions of doing things for themselves? Yes. While I am receiving benefits and free education, I am learning the skills needed to become part of the working class again. These days, it's difficult to become completely self-reliant. Even if we grow our own food, we still have to figure out how to pay property taxes on homes and vehicles, and all sorts of other taxes. With all that I've paid in over the past 20 years, do I believe I deserve the opportunity to get the schooling to get me back in a stable field of work? You bet! It's a field that I've researched to see whether I could find a job or not. many people find a field that they think is "fun" or "neat". When they get out of school at a fancy school with high loans, they find out what they should have researched earlier: they can't find a job in that field. The schools will teach you whatever you want to learn, but they can't guarantee you will ever find a job. Why should they forgive student loans for your decision? Maybe it would be better if loans weren't given and you had to pay it before going to school. Economic systems such as Socialism and Communism don't allow for people to be self-reliant. They force those that can do for themselves to do for those that can't, or won't. It doesn't matter which it is, can't/won't, either way, they aren't doing for themselves. Capitalism isn't really much better, but does allow people to increase their value of life. But, when one person prospers, others lose. Is there an economic system that would benefit people as a whole? Not really. They either allow for some to gain while others lose, or take from some that have to give to those that have-not. In this world today, we have to be as self-reliant as we can while working around those factors that work against us. I'm sure more thoughts will come later. _
DISCIPLINE 1 : punishment 2 obsolete : instruction 3 : a field of study 4 : training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character 5 a : control gained by enforcing obedience or order b : orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior c : self-control 6 : a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity I'll leave out "discipline" where it is concerning punishment or something controlled by others. For me, the Nine Noble Virtues are more concerned with how an individual acts, treats others, and does things. So, for this purpose, Discipline will be addressed as "training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character" and "self-control". This is the one virtue that I struggle with the most. I guess I have ADD/ADHD, so it's easy for my attention to be pulled away from a project. But, if I'm completely into a project, I will ignore everything else. There are many things that I start and try to complete, and some get forgotten. I've tried exercise, but I get busy with other things, like family or school or work, and I don't set aside time for it. I just started back to school in January 2011, and it's the first time (other than massage school) in over a decade. The last time I applied myself in school was the mid 1980s in Elementary School. I have a hard time with self-discipline when it comes to studying and homework. With all the kids that we have, it's easy to get sidetracked and not keep up with homework. I get so many projects going sometimes that I can't dedicate enough time to most of them, so some fall short of completion. This is a major problem for me. As I do these blogs on the NNV, I try not to address very specific situations or point out the faults of individuals by name. I have my own faults, and am aware of many of them, though, I'm sure others could point out more. Just as I'm aware of many of my faults, I'm sure others are aware of their faults, and what I may find as a fault might not be a fault for someone else. I've tried to discipline myself over the years to do my best to avoid pointing fingers, and so far, I believe I've done well. I do best with only a few projects, but many times, there are many projects that NEED to be done. From time to time, I try to recruit others that might have the time to help out on those projects. I like volunteers, but sometimes, I have to draft them. I don't make them do it, but encourage it. Sometimes, it is more work to draft someone than it is to just do it myself. Self discipline is a virtue that many of us could work on in our own lives. I encourage others to set goals and organize a plan to accomplish those goals. I challenge myself to do the same. I ask others to encourage me to stay focused and disciplined enough to reach those goals and finish projects. We all can use a little enc At the time or writing this, there seems to be events that make me feel it is necessary to address, though not directly and named. Honour is hard to gain, easy to lose, and harder to regain. Does that mean that Honour cannot be reclaimed? No. I know some individuals that have lost Honour in various ways, whether it be by failing to keep an oath, being unfaithful to a spouse or significant other, or using words unwisely. There are many individuals that I have known that have lost Honour and Respect that I once held for them, but that is mine to hold. There are few situations where I would ask that others hold the same views on a situation that I have. Recently, I lost a close friend because of a situation that wasn't a problem for 4 years, but suddenly was a problem. We lost respect for each other, and I have requested mutual friends to not pick sides, and to respect that it was a personal matter. Even though I have little to no respect for the individual, this is a personal matter, not one that should be carried through the Heathen community.
There are other situations, such as one of a spouse being unfaithful to his/her spouse or significant other. This is an unfortunate situation, but one that happens often. While people may be friends with all parties involved, those that considered themselves "friends" or "family" to the parties should be supportive of all parties involved. That doesn't mean that everyone has to be happy with the situation, and each friend or family member can show disapproval, but that is a personal situation that should not be intervened by anyone. It is a personal situation that I have seen happen many times in my years, and it usually works itself out over time. When a husband cheats on his wife, and they divorce, many times in the future they are friends, though not always. It's usually the friends and family members that have crossed the lines that shouldn't have been crossed that hold ill will for far too long. Those burned bridges are harder to mend. Sometimes, it is best to let the parties that are actually involved handle the situation. As for others that have lost Honour, such as oathbreakers, it is a different situation. We all have made promises that were difficult or impossible to keep. Sometimes, this is dependent on the actions of others. If one vows to fulfill a duty, but that duty is also dependent on the actions of others, it can make the promise difficult to complete. It is very important to word a promise or oath very clearly and very specific in order to "cover the bases". Choosing the wrong words can lead to an unfulfilled oath. I have known some that have failed to keep an oath, and have lost Honour.. It is sad that this happens, and it affects the orlog of all those connected and present when the oath is made. Some oaths are more serious than others, and there are different levels of oathbreaking. Outlawry is another topic to cover, on another day, but some loss of Honour can result in temporary or permanent Outlawry. I've seen it happen to Heathens. But, I have also seen some that broke an oath punish him/herself more than a temporary Outlawing, but come back to regain Honour with the same community, or another. It is always important to be honest about ones history, especially about such matters. I have personally worked with someone that has been labeled an oathbreaker, but has proven his/herself to be an Honourable Heathen. Even knowing the background, but seeing the changes, I believe the person did regain Honour. Honour and Respect for someone is up to individuals to hold. Emotions do run high with some situations, some more than others. But, it is important to remember not to react in a manner that would lead us to lose Honour while expressing our loss of Respect for others. The Domino Effect is a situation no community wants to be involved with, and it can lead to infighting. Time helps heal many wounds. Forgiveness and understanding heals the rest. It is difficult to forgive, and impossible to forget, but we must determine how our actions and reactions will be seen. Truth is the highest thing that man may keep. - GEOFFREY CHAUCER, The Canterbury Tales
Truth is generally the best vindication against slander. Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865), letter to Secretary of War Edwin Stanton, July 18, 1864 A lie told often enough becomes the truth. Lenin (1870 - 1924) Ask someone what "truth" is, and you'll get a few different opinions. Truth is defined in a few ways: 1 a archaic : fidelity, constancy b : sincerity in action, character, and utterance 2 a (1) : the state of being the case : fact (2) : the body of real things, events, and facts : actuality (3) often capitalized : a transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality b : a judgment, proposition, or idea that is true or accepted as true <truths of thermodynamics> c : the body of true statements and propositions 3 a : the property (as of a statement) of being in accord with fact or reality b chiefly British : : fidelity to an original or to a standard Truth is something that is, and is without question, and will not change. Truth is something you hold to, and if you don't, it doesn't change that it is what it is. Untruths are known as falsehoods, "white lies", fibs, fabrications, and a long list of other descriptions. "Truth" tends to be bent by changing the words that one says to express what they want to say into something that someone wants to hear. When someone hears a truth that they don't want to hear, they usually say something like "Well, I didn't know that is what you 'meant'." Whether or not you want to hold to the truth, or hear the truth, it doesn't change that a truth is a truth. Many times, when someone is not truthful, he/she is only being dishonest with oneself. But, avoiding truth can hurt others, too. I'm just as guilty as anyone else for "choosing" words wisely. The truth hurts when it is too blunt or told in a manner that is not tactful. Sometimes, softening the words, or choosing words that convey the message but isn't "rude" is a good thing. But, to say something that isn't so is an untruth. There are many "kinds" of truths. There are universal truths like "Gravity". There are truths that are relative, like morality. Some moral issues are more truthful in some cultures than others. Lynching is a definite immoral truth in our country. But, in other countries, it's a moral truth. Certain truths are different from culture to culture. Beauty to one person is different than it is to another person, but neither is untrue. The big thing, for me, is that truths spoken should be from the heart, the soul, and the mind of an individual. While Honor is all that a man may have left after losing everything else, Truth shall exist long after a man is dead. When speaking to someone, be truthful. Don't find clever ways to lie. I tried this many times as a kid. Anyone with children will know that they will find ways to be untruthful, and for many reasons. I remember once, in high school, I received my report card. I failed a class, so I took a pencil and changed the printout to make it a C (60 became an 80with a light mark). My final report card brought the truth to light, especially since I couldn't get to it before my parents. That wasn't a good scene. It took me quite a few years to regain full trust from them, and longer to let it sink in that Truth is very important. The Truth will always come through, and if it is found that you have denied the Truth, your Honor will be tarnished. Honour is defined as 'high respect, as that shown for special merit; esteem'. Honour is something that you earn. It is not given without proving it is deserved. People can earn honor by various actions, and rarely by words. One can say great things but his/her actions mean much more than the words spoken. Helping others that are in need, winning fights or military battles/wars, winning competitions, and other situations where one comes out the victor can gain a man honour. A man can also gain honor by being a great leader, or by being a good husband and father.
While a man can gain honour by actions, and rarely by words, it's nearly the opposite when it comes to losing honour. A man can definitely lose honor by actions, but he can also lose them by words. A man can lose honour by losing battles, being untruthful to others, being unfaithful to his lover/wife, mistreating his children, cheating others in business, and many other ways. A man can also lose honour by words, such as telling untruths, slandering others, gossiping, or repeating secrets told in confidentiality. A man can grow rich and then poor then rich again. A man can be strong, weak, then strong again. A man can have anything, lose it, then gain it again. Once a man has lost honour, it is nearly impossible to regain it. Fidelity is described as "strict observance of promises, duties" and "loyalty". To me, this means many things. This could be the loyalty of a good friend or family member. It also means sticking to promises and oaths that one has made, or fulfilling promised work or efforts toward a goal. One of the biggest meanings this has to me is loyalty in a marriage or committed relationship. I have fidelity with my wife.
I would never think of becoming involved with another woman. I was married once before, and was faithful to her. As far as I know and can prove, she was physically faithful to me, but seemed to have no interest in being with me. My second marriage is much different than my first, and my wife and I are much closer to each other than we are to anyone else (children excluded). In my wife's first marriage, there was many trust issues, and the internet became a big issue, as her ex-husband got on the internet in a closed room and was involved in all sorts of activities. When my wife and I first got together, she noticed that I was on the computer a lot, but she also noticed that I was on my laptop right beside her, and she could see everything I was doing. I handled "heathen business" while she watched television. I have never hidden anything from her that I have done on the internet, and usually share things that are happening with her. She knows that I'm not flirting with other ladies online, looking at porn, or any other activity that would put our marriage in jeopardy. In fact, now that I'm in school, I am required to be on a computer more frequently, so I do spend more time away from the computer (not much, but some). I have seen several people that call him/herself "Heathen" that is involved in Polygamy or Polyamory., or Polyandry. One cannot be faithful to more than one spouse at a time. If a man (or woman) is married and becomes involved with another woman (or man), the individual has broken trust and bonds with the spouse. The person has proven that he/she is not worthy of having that spouse, and it should stand that the person is not worthy of a future spouse. An unfaithful spouse is worthy of the same treatment as an oathbreaker, since when a couple gets married, there are oaths made in the marriage. Back before I came to being a Heathen, I believed in fidelity. I had been cheated on by girlfriends. I knew what it felt like, and did not want to be the cause of another person feeling that way. When a marriage fails and children are involved, the children feel as if they need to take sides. I have seen this with my own daughters, and with my step-sons. They feel that their loyalty much be chosen, or that they have to split loyalty between the parents. This puts stress on the children when it comes time for them to make oaths and promises, and can contribute to the child failing to maintain fidelity on various levels. Love your spouse and be faithful to him/her. Fulfill your oath that you made when you entered into marriage. If you are dating, do the same. I know some couples that are not legally married that are more faithful than those that are. A legal marriage isn't always important, but an oath to a significant other can be stronger than any document a government can grant. Marriage should not be a legal ceremony, but a spiritual connection formed between two people. |
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